Apprehension

Last night my Master had finally come home, and after I served dinner (moussaka!) and we’d watched a couple episodes of Waking the Dead while we snuggled, I asked permission to go to bed because I was exhausted from cooking (moussaka is not an easy recipe!) and going to a business meeting that day (and over an hour on public transport either way!) He gave me permission, but then I begged him to come snuggle me a bit more before I fell asleep, and he kindly came with me to bed.

We snuggled and talked about a number of things, but conversation led to a thought I’d had while stuck on the train, which was what we might “get up to” this weekend. I thought about shooting a CP video, and wondered what we might do. A few days ago, a search term used to find this blog was “caning and anal sex video.” So I started thinking of him putting me over the punishment chair and caning me for the video, and then fucking my ass while I cried.

Suddenly, a rational (and seldom heard) voice in my head said, “That’s really going to hurt — why do you want that?!” The answer came from what I jokingly call my “hindbrain” (that being my genitalia, from whence I seem to do much of my thinking!) — my pussy was hot and I could feel the blood rushing into it. So, obviously, no amount of rational thought with the main brain had any relevance — my pussy knows what I want and need much better!

But still, the apprehension for an upcoming caning twinged through me. So I started telling myself things like:

• Once it starts, there will be only a certain number of strokes. I can get through it.
• He never pushes me over my limit. I can get through it.
• Once the first shocking strokes are done, I will get the hang out it. I can get through it.

So I was telling him all of the things I’d had to tell myself, saying to him, “I know my apprehension would appeal to you, Sir.” My hand was playing with the hair on his chest as I spoke.

Suddenly, he said to me in a strange voice, “What are you trying to do, girl?”

I was confused. I was just chatting and snuggling. Yes, we were talking about sexy stuff, but I knew he was tired from travelling and I wasn’t trying to make a scene happen….

I was just trying to explain this when he gestured and I looked down and saw a huge tenting in his underpants. “Oh!” was my magniloquent response, and I immediately moved down between his legs to remedy the problem I’d caused!

It’s so sexy to me that he gets so turned on by my nervous apprehension to pain and punishment. It’s not that he doesn’t also enjoy when I’m enthusastically masochistic, but I think it means more to both of us when I take pain from him despite fear and trepidation.

Need a good spanking!

Here's a spanking picture of me from way back in 1999!

Victorian night in the dungeon

What a wonderful weekend I’ve had! Play every day! But let me start with Friday night….

Our local dungeon was having a Victorian theme night. Since this is a serious fetish for me, my Master indulged me by agreeing to go (and dress up in a kilt for me! Phwoar!)

So in the evening, I took a bath and shaved off any undesired body hair (that being most of it!) and did my make-up, and got into as much of my period Victorian dress as possible on my own. Which wasn’t much: the chemise, corset (un-tightened), real silk stockings, and boots! When my Master got home, he tightened the corset (the man gets way too much delight from tight-lacing!), put on the petticoat, bustle pad, and then the skirt and bustle, and then finally the beautiful jacket.

For me, getting into this outfit is part of the foreplay, as the authentic period layers are put on me, I can feel myself sinking back in time, to be that modest Victorian lady who didn’t even want to expose her ankles (although half her bust was just fine!), who was helpless and submissive, who lived first under the command of her father, and then her husband. My favorite fantasies are of my skirts getting flipped up, and my virginal self being beaten and then “used vilely.”

CP throughout the ages (images)

My friend Fyre posted a comment to my spanking poster post, pointing out that if you search on Allposters.com, under “whip,” you got some amusing results. There were indeed some amusing and silly ones … but the historical ones were so much more interesting to me…

Riding Whips	Whip or Rod and Whipping-Post at Wandsworth	Public Whipping in the London Sessions House Yard	Two Men Bare to the Waist Flagellate Themselves with Two Whips
The Sultan Orders the Whipping of a Sailor Who Dares to Go on Strike	Party of Slaves Being Whipped Because They Display Reluctance to Cross	A Beggar is Tied and Whipped Through the Streets, circa 1567

These are images from throughout the ages … it really goes to show how much CP used to be a part of daily life. Obviously, from the examples above, there are a lot of good reasons why it no longer is. But, at the same time, maybe it should not have just been tossed out altogether, even though it had been misused. Perhaps CP is like fire … you don’t want to have it uncontrolled, out of control … but, burning safely on a candle, in a fireplace, at a campsite … it’s vital to human existence.

So much for deep thoughts. (Although I bet Abel and Haron could make some great stories from some of those prints, if you were to recast the punishees as attractive young ladies in need of correction!) Here are some prints that would make my Master happy…

Show Jumping

Side Profile of a Woman Riding a Horse over a Hurdle

Group of Jockeys Sitting on Horses

No, my Master does not particularly like horses. Equestrienne’s showing off their lovely legs and bottoms, however, is another story!

As for me, this is the kinky image I’d want!


Sale of a Slave Girl in Rome, 1884

bend over for your bare bottom caning

This video from The Girl’s Boarding School (click above image to see video clip) is really hot! I love the two girls getting it one after the other. And of course, the bent over (“Hands behind your knees!” the Authority Figure orders, after one girl jumps up in pain after the searing bite of the cane) position is most caning enthusiast’s favorite one. (Not most canee’s however! Please — just lie us down on our tummies!)

But why is it that one girl always gets it harder than the other?!

“Britain’s secretive S&M scene”

By Julian Joyce | BBC News

Sex seems to be everywhere these days, yet the details of Max Mosley’s privacy hearing have helped lift a veil on one type of sexual behaviour still shrouded in secrecy – sadomasochism.

As well as the whipping, the searching of hair for lice, and the harsh commands barked in gruff German, a News of the World video shown in Max Mosley’s High Court case has revealed a more tender face of the supposedly dark sadomasochistic lifestyle.

There were images of a post-session impromptu tea party between Mr Mosley and his female companions, alongside courtroom evidence from friends. It’s something advocates for tolerance are keen to talk about, amid concern the Mosley case will further increase suspicion of such activities.

In doing so, they come up against the guardians of traditional morality – such as the Christian Action Research and Education (CARE) group which condemns “unconstructive” relationships based on “the dominion of one person over another”.

Nobody knows how many people are involved in the “scene”: a loose grouping of people across the country who enjoy an unorthodox – and under current laws potentially illegal – sexual lifestyle. However, one US study suggests 11% of women and 14% of men have engaged in BDSM – an abbreviation for bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism – activities.

If those figures are translated to the UK, it could mean around four million people have tried BDSM. A smaller, but still substantial, number has chosen to make it a “lifestyle choice”.

The Mosley case has also confirmed historical prejudices about Britain’s long-standing “spanking” tradition – the famous flagellation scene in the 18th Century novel Fanny Hill, being just one example. “Just a little harmless English S&M”, was how Time magazine headlined its account of the court hearing. It concluded: “On this island where manners mean everything, one takes one’s whipping with a stiff upper lip.”

According to the former editor of the Erotic Review, Rowan Pelling, Britain is “still known abroad as the ‘nation of floggers’”.

“A lot of it has to do with the way we have historically treated children,” says Ms Pelling, “sending them away to boarding school from an early age. Plus, the British are thought to be repressed – and any repression will result in somewhat recherche and unusual sexual activities.”

The Female Disciplinary Manual

When I moved in with my Master, I found he had a treasure-trove of corporal punishment literature. There was one book he had me read early on in the relationship that really made an impression on me.

The Female Disciplinary Manual: A Complete Encyclopaedia of the Correction of the Fair Sex is just what its name suggests: a complete guide to the correction and chastisement of young ladies. Nearly a hundred sections deal with every variety of punishment.

The art of spanking is taught in loving detail; the use of the cane expounded to a depth never before attempted in print. The intricacies of the strap are laid before the reader in all their charm and severity.

The division on non-corporal punishment is subtler but perhaps even more powerful than that on physical chastisement. The refinements of disciplinary suffering that lie in expertly administered detentions and impositions will be a revelation to most readers.

The book is written by ladies who have long practical experience of the disciplinary arts. What Mrs. Beeton did for household management,they have done for the gentle craft of punishment.

Every paragraph is alive with a sensual aestheticism — with the tingling sensibility of feminine discipline at its most elegantly severe.

The introduction to the book, despite its fantasy setting, is a seminal essay on the philosophy of discipline which shows that the authoresses of the book mean what they say very seriously. Far from regarding themselves as part of the “perverted” sado-masochist fringe, they feel that genuine discipline is the only way forward for a decaying civilisation.

A fascinating afterword tells how the book came into being; originally written as a series of occasional papers writen by disciplinariennes within an all-female disciplinary society for private circulation to other members who wished to learn about such things as administering a sound, never-to-be-forgotten caning or setting a truly tear-inducingly tedious and frustrating imposition for the benefit of the young ladies in their charge.

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One of my favorite sections of this book is the one on spanking. (My Master’s favorite is the section on caning! We can perhaps tell some important things about the differences between my Master and me from this!)

Spanking is a highly sensitive and variable punishment. It stands virtually at the antipose from caning, in which a set and limited number of strokes are administered, each one to be of maximum value. A spanking is very rarely limited as to the number of strokes. It is a long punishment, the longest of corporal punishments, and each stroke may be shaped by the instinct of the moment. There are brisk, hard spankings with stinging leather sole; slow heavy spankings with a large hairbrush: there are long, mild spankings and short ferocious ones and interminable, severe ones which pass from tears to silent suffering to tears again….
A spanking is, in many ways, something like a conversation or even a song. A long, wordless but intense and passionate communication takes place.”

Yes, please! That’s how I’d prefer to communicate! Just to be taken over my Master’s lap, and be told everything he needs me to know by the intensity of the blows; from his hand, the slipper, the strap, the tawse, even the short cane!

(You can buy The Female Disciplinary Manual: A Complete Encyclopaedia of the Correction of the Fair Sex in hardcover, or Amazon has some even less expensive options as well!)

“Accepting the unfair” (daddy/girl spanking story)

One of my favorite resources for CP-related stories is the excellent blog, A Taste of the Birch.

Today I found the extraordinarily hot story, Accepting the Unfair. I hope the Author, “Placid,” doesn’t mind me reposting it over here.

Picture courtesy of Girls-Boarding-School.com

schoolgirl feels the tawse on her red bottom

I’m really loving this shot of the tawse applied to an already spanked and caned — very red bottom, from Girl’s Boarding School.

I know how much that would hurt! But it still gets me excited for this upcoming long weekend…!

The perfect caned bottom

This glorious picture comes from Her First Punishment. This is the kind of spanking shot that really gets to me. I can’t tell what I want more: to be the model, or the photographer!

Obviously, I want to be the model, the weals on my bottom still burning and throbbing. I want to look like she does, with my, errrr, assets, shown to their best advantage.

But how could I not want to be the person who took that picture?! If that was my image, I’d be so bloody proud of myself!

And this exemplifies the terrible dilemna I’m smack (haha) in the middle. I can’t decide whether I want to be a model or photographer. I want both, but I don’t have enough time in the day to do both (at least properly.) I keep swinging from one to the other, and it causes me a certain amount of confusion and indecision.

Why can’t I just be caned and take pictures of pretty girls who have been caned?!