Spanked virtual book tour – Interview with Rachel Kramer Bussel

Well, I wrote the other day about how excited I am about Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica . Now, I get to really share some of that excitement with you, my dear readers, because the editor (and author of one of the stories in the anthology, Rachel Kramer Bussel, has stopped by this blog on Day 4 of her Spanked virtual book tour. Here’s what we talked about:

Zille: Despite their myriad differences, all these stories have something in common: you selected them for this anthology. What are the common factors that made you choose these stories for publication?

Rachel: This was one of my easiest anthologies to edit, because the stories, for the most part, just worked. I did a private call for submissions, asking my favorite writers to send me stories, and the ones they turned in surpassed even my greatest expectations. I already edited Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2 and wasn’t sure how much more great spanking erotica was out there, but they went above and beyond. It’s hard to say, though, exactly why I pick a story. Usually it either works immediately, or it doesn’t. A good story has to grab my attention and not let it go. It has to take me place I haven’t been, or places I have been, but in a new way.

And what I like about these is that they each bring a different nuance to the topic of spanking. They get into the motivations as well as the actions, which is really what makes a story. So I’m not sure how much they have in common save for really powerful, hot, arousing writing that gets into the heads of spankers and spankees. I usually get way more stories from the spankees point of view, which I understand; it’s easier to write, in a sense, but I’m always looking for hot stories from the spanker’s viewpoint as well. I’m editing Bottoms Up, the sequel to Spanked, right now, and, as always, want to get a really good mix of spanking viewpoints, styles, implements, and scenarios.

Zille: You say that you don’t normally like Daddy/girl stories, but you include a story called “Daddy’s Girl” (by Teresa Noelle Roberts) in this book. What made that story hot for you?

Rachel: I think she just nailed that particular form of roleplaying so well. She explained it, without taking the reader out of the story. She also makes it clear that while Daddy/girl play is familiar for this couple, what “Daddy” is doing is a bit out of the norm. He pushes her buttons, and she’s not quite sure what to expect. That I loved, because she made it clear that this is something she enjoys. Other than that, I’m not entirely sure, but if I had to pick a favorite in the book, one story that consistently makes me wet every time I read even a portion of it, it’d be “Daddy’s Girl.”

Zille: These stories range the gamut between people getting spanked for the first time (such as in Donna George Storey’s “A Rare Find”), and well-established spankos pushing intense limits (as your own story, “The Depths of Despair,” exemplifies). In putting an anthology like this together, are there any fears that a section of your readers will be too jaded to enjoy the former, and another part will be freaked out by the latter? How do you walk that line?

Rachel: It’s a tricky line to walk, certainly, especially because I truly hope this book appeals to newcomers who may or may not ever actually engage in spanking, as well as seasoned spankophiles. I made my book trailer deliberately “light” so as to give a sense too of the playfulness of spanking, because that can be a big part of it. But the darker aspects, the ways a spanking can linger on our skin and in our minds, far after it’s done, are just as important. I’m sure there are things in here that will freak some people out; there are things in Spanked that freak me out, but I think that’s a good thing. I also hope people finally figure out that it’s okay to read about fantasies, to grapple with them, to use erotica to figure out what intrigues you, what you might never want to do, what you might do with the right person, under the right circumstances. I really hope the book appeals to people across the spanking spectrum, even people who might never have considered it before. And remember, just because you want to read about something doesn’t mean you’re signing up to get spanked for hours on end. Reading is such a safe form of exploration, because you do it alone and can sort out your thoughts, turn-ons, and turn-offs.

Zille: These days there are so many free spanking stories online, but people are still buying erotic books. What is it about erotica in book form that keeps people coming back for more, even in the face of such wide-spread and easily obtained competition?

Rachel: I think books will always be alive and well, especially erotica (though I’m happy to report you can buy Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica for Kindle now). Especially for erotica, though, I think people want something tactile. You can curl up in bed with a book, masturbate with it held close, as opposed to a computer screen. There’s something intimate, to me, about owning a book; it’s yours, and you can write in it or earmark the pages. You know which parts are your favorites, and erotica is a genre where there’s a lot of rereading. Also, you can spank someone with a book! So while I’m totally supportive of online erotica and am happy to see that market flourishing in terms of online publications and e-publishing, I will always be an erotica book buyer and reader, and think plenty of others feel the same way.

Zille: In “Daddy’s Girl,” there is a paragraph that reads,

Soon, my ass feels huge and hot and tender, but in a good way, like huge and hot and tender is it’s proper state, and I’ve been waiting for years, not knowing what I was missing, for someone to repair my sad unspanked bottom.

This sums up exactly how I feel during a spanking. As a fellow spanking-enthusiast, does that description work for you, as well? Does it seem to you, as it does to me, that the desire for a spanking is more than just masochism, there are other “needs” inextricably enmeshed in craving a spanking and the resulting satisfaction from getting one?

Rachel: For me, it is about much more than just masochism. I’m a switch, though probably more of a bottom, but spanking reigns supreme in the activities that, without fail, turn me on, and very quickly at that. For various reasons, I don’t get to indulge my love of spanking very often, so when I do, it kindof sweeps me away, as it did for this character. It’s hard to do a spanking scene (bear with me) half-assed, whether as top or bottom. When someone is only halfheartedly engaging in spanking, it just doesn’t work, or at least, doesn’t work as well as it could or should.

For me, so much of the magic of spanking comes from finding the right partner to connect with, someone who can push me right up to and maybe over my edge, but who gets why I find it hot. If they don’t get that, sure, they may technically know where to hit and know what they’re doing, but they may leave me cold. What I’ve found in working on these stories and interviewing the authors about the motivations of their characters is that spanking taps into so many deeper emotions and needs. It can make the person being spanked extremely vulnerable, and a good top plays with that.

I got caned for the first time in January, and that helped inspire my story. There were so many moments where I almost called it off, where I was so scared of what would happen next, and then I realized I could just work with that fear. I could cry it out, and that the pleasure and the reward of having gone through it would outweigh the momentary pain.

Zille: As you worked on putting this collection together, did you used any of these stories as inspiration for your own personal playtime (alone, or with a lover?) If so … details please!

Rachel: Spanking is one of those activities that for me really only works with a lover (or two). I can get completely turned on fantasizing about it or reading about it but then I’m kindof stuck with myself, though I’ve been reading about self-spankers, which I find interesting. I think the story that really blew my mind and gave me much fantasy fodder was “Daddy’s Girl.” Daddy/girl roleplaying has always been something I’ve skipped over reading about, feeling very removed and a bit squicked by it. But that story pushed me over the edge and made me see the possibilities for it.

I’m hoping to incorporate some of the fantasies I’ve had since working on Spanked into my personal life. It’s not always easy, though, because believe it or not, I can still be very shy about asking to get spanked. Anyone who has the guts to do so, I salute you, and recognize how brave and bold an act that is. I’m amazed, though, at how just reading about spanking or looking at spanking photos, can turn me on; other things turn me on, too, but not as quickly or powerfully as spanking.

Also, and I’m not sure I should say this, but I’ve been spanked by more than one author in the book. That is all I will say about it, other than both authors have very good spanking hands, kinky minds, and stand out in my spanking memories.

Zille: I have to say, hearing that you’ve been spanked by some of the authors of Spanked does add a serious titillation value — it’s so hot to think about! Maybe for the next book you can get all the authors to spank you for the promo video!

Thank you, Rachel, for taking the time to answer my questions! This was really fun, and you’re welcome back on this blog any time!

Spanking and kink links

Here are two lovely sites that have just linked to me!

• True Grime: Exploring Taboo ~ “A user driven community for sharing and discussion of alternative subcultures, sex, taboo, & esoteric content TrueGrime.com also provides hosting, design and administration of adult oriented personal and business websites.”
• All Things Spanking ~ eclectic adult spanking pictures and spanking resources!

Spanking in music videos

Adele Haze just posted a link to this video, which she says is an, “old video, and it made a great splash in the spankdom when it first came out” — well, I’d never heard of it, so it delighted me!

Here is a favorite “oldie but goodie.” This song doesn’t have any spankings in … but it is about schoolgirls (and does have one in uniform!), and why exactly is Sting swatting a carpet beater about, I ask you?

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Abel’s Tips for First-Time caners

Abel just posed what I think is a really excellent guide for newbie caners (and canees!) over at his and Heron’s amazing blog – I hope he doesn’t mind me reposting it, here:

1. Practice first: get used to hitting the target by whacking pillows. (Yes, it may sound silly, but…)

2. Give a warm-up – say an OTK spanking first: it helps to make the cane strokes slightly more bearable (even though some think it’s inauthentic if you’re playing, say, a school scene).

3. Choose the right position. It’s easier to cane accurately, at least if you’re new to it, if the young lady is lying down (perhaps on a bed with a pillow under her hips to lift her bottom up – the top can then stand to the side of the bed). If not, having you bend over something (a chair back, a desk if you have one) is easier than touching-your-toes.

“The Banqueting House Birchings”

There is an amazing post over on The Spanking Writer’s Blog!

This is just a snippet of what Abel writes:

Yes, here I was, in a famous royal hall, equipped with an original birching block. I was all for hoisting Haron into position, tying her down and flogging her, when I noticed the stern guard throwing suspicious glances in our direction….
At the end of the room is the royal throne; around its edges, numerous benches. Noble girls who’d offended would be ordered to report to the court: they’d sit, nervously, awaiting their turn…. One by one, a courtier would call a name. The chosen girl would step forward, a lonely walk across the wooden floor. She’d curtsey as she presented herself to His Majesty: details of her offence would be read out. He might ask her a question, seek an explanation, before pronouncing sentence… She’d be led across to the flogging horse, the eyes of the other girls following her. (”My turn next,” terrifying some, whilst others – sitting in agony – squirmed from the discomfort of their own recent thrashing, moments before). Her skirts would be lifted; she’d be tied tightly; a fresh bundle of rods would be selected, and the annointed punishment laid on – hard, so as not to displease His Majesty.

Wow! I’ve just gotten up, but now I think I may need to go back to bed … just to say “Hi” to Mr. Buzzy….

And again with the inflatable & vibrating butt plug …

That’s nice!

Roxxie over at the Girl Tools blog, mentioned my post about the Inflatable & Vibrating Butt Plug.

It’s lovely to know the nice grrls over at CyberDyke haven’t forgotten me, quite yet!

Now I just have to convice my Master to buy me the durn thing, so I can review it for you all!  (Or, if you can’t wait, kaya’s review is perfectly acceptable!)

Anger/ an example of grace in submission

kaya over at underhishand.com has just put up an amazing post about learning to be submissive even when you feel stubborn and angry and rarin’ for a fight.

This post is yet another example of why I adore her. Because she goes through almost exactly the same emotions and experiences as me — and then blogs about them much better than I do: her writing style is simple and easy to read, yet deeply expressive. She expresses things that would take me a paragraph to relate, in one well-crafted sentence.

And she always has perfect punctuation, and I’ve never noted a grammar error that was not for the purpose of being cute. Which she is, regardless!

I need to go back and dig up the entry I did a long time ago about grace in submission, but that was more about the external, physical grace.

Which can only come from internal grace, no matter how much you practice standing up from kneeling, or unzipping someone’s trousers with your teeth. And, it’s really only the internal stuff that counts, in the end.

I’m generally slow to anger. You have to work at it, although if you know the right buttons, like my mother does, you can get me from luke-warm to a boil with only a few well chosen words, said in the right tone of voice.

My Master doesn’t push my buttons at all (well, except the sexual ones!) but we live together (and indeed, are in the stressful period of planning a wedding), and of course sometimes you wake up on the cranky side of the bed, or something annoying happens in the day, and you have to deal with that.

Once I get pissed off, it takes me a while to get unpissed off. Once I get that full head of steam up, I tend to be more like a kettle than a chimney. So it’s hard for me to let go of stuff and move on. A part of me — a very stupid part of me — wants to stay angry, stubbornly hold on to it until I feel I have “won,” somehow. Beaten down the other person with my anger until they realize that, “Oh, I was wrong all along! I owe Zille a deep and heartful apology, with added groveling, and then I’ll buy her something nice to make up for it!”

But of course, that doesn’t do much good in normal, vanilla relationships. And it’s much worse for M/s (or other BDSM-type) relationships.

You just can’t do that if you’re the slave! And here, I’ll quote kaya, because she’s said it so much better than I could:

But you know what happens when I check my ’stubborn’ at the door? When I remember that I’m a submissive and that this man, who I entrusted my life to, is making the decisions and gets to drive?

Well I’ll tell you what you don’t get. You don’t get damage. You don’t get days of tense, exhausting fighting. You don’t have character assassination as each of you try and gain the upper hand. You don’t end up having said anything that you regret or wish you could take back or have to apologize for. You don’t break anything.

You get appeasement. You get compliance. Tractability, servility, humbleness and humility. And appreciation. I get appreciation. I have a Master who was prepared to fight for what is his.. my submission.. and didn’t have to. Because I willingly offered it, at a time when it was -is- the most difficult for me. I still did not “win”…. but I feel like I did. I didn’t get my way, but I got a hug, I got a kiss, I got a happy Master.

That’s what I’ve learned … what I’m still slowly learning, each time a fight could happen. That if I let go, and submit with grace, that there is no fight — that all negative emotions are mitigated and everyone ends up happy and thankful.

And while I didn’t “win” by the stupid-part-of-me’s fucked-up definition, no part of me can call that a loss.

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

For all my friends who love gettin’ snarky about grammar:

http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

(Ganked from http://journal.neilgaiman.com/)

In unrelated news I’m working today, and I hate the jobby-job more than ever.

But wedding stuffs are making me happy — things are coming along pretty well in that dept. But I’m sorta too superstitious to post any details of the goodness: might jinx it!

Off I go back to work… Blah.

Wow … so intense!

Grey Lily just posted this over in her amazing blog…

(It’s somewhat frustrating when people say what I would have liked to say but so much more beautifully and coherantly! Damnit!)

Chocolate and what makes a slave…

wrote a cute post about chocolate cravings and being unable to disobey her Master here

My response to her was:

I don’t know why it makes you angry (of course, I’ve never wanted chocolate as badly as you do!) but I do think it should make you really glad.

It means you’re his. All his. Whenever I get a reminder like that in my life, even in an un-fun situation, it makes me happy that I do actually belong to someone, to a Master who wants me to belong to him.

I’m not allowed to masturbate unless I hold my Master’s cane. Twice I have forgotten to do so. Each time I was alone, I could have just not said word one to my Master, and he would have been none the wiser — and I would have gotten out of some very un-fun punishments!

It crossed my mind, “You could just not tell him about this….” But then I remembered my lover before my Master, who was supposed to be my “master,” but who did not succeed at it. I was supposed to ask *him* for permission to masturbate. At first it was all good — he would smile and pet me and say “yes, go do that,” or he would even put down what he was doing and join in. (He never said “no,” which seems like a dumb thing to complain about, but sometimes, I hate to admit this, us slaves do need to be denied things (at least for a little while) to make us value our Masters’ indulging us the rest of the time.) Anyway, back to my story, after a while, I would ask, and he wouldn’t even turn around from the computer, just say “yes” without even hearing me, not even interested. So one day, I wanted to masturbate, and he was downstairs, and I simply couldn’t be bothered to walk down the stairs to get a disinterested hand waving me away. So I grabbed my vibrator and made myself come — and afterwards I cried, because he wasn’t my master anymore. I never called him “master” again, and the relationship began its process of falling apart.

It’s not just our Masters who make us belong to them. It’s us who enslave ourselves to them. Heinlein said:

It is impossible to free slaves, they have to free themselves

and it is the same in reverse. Your Master would never have made you into a slave if you hadn’t wanted to be his slave. He may put bonds on you, but you are the one who holds them on.

---

I would add here that I never ever want what happened with my last lover to happen with my Master. I was so unhappy back then, and now I am so happy. This all reminds me of what I was thinking about when I read ’s entry a couple days ago:

While I want to be a part of Mr Stern’s life, and be included in as many aspects of his life as he will let me, I have realized that I have a hard time maintaining my place if he does not enforce it. I will slide as much as he will let me. Is this my fault for taking advantage and not being diligent about following the preset rules, or is it his fault for not forcing me to? Is it my job to stay within the bounds, even without reminders and pressure, or is it his job to make me stay within his rules, with pressure and reminders?

I hate feeling like I am finding my own way. It leaves me grappling with my reality and my boundaries. It leaves me in that undefined territory where I cannot feel Mr Stern’s hand firmly on my shoulder showing me which way to go and how to act. I want his hand in my hair, his voice in my ear, his body pressing against mine, his hands tormenting me. That is when I feel safe, loved, and protected.

I understand how Gray Lily feels. Sometimes the freedom my Master gives me is hard on me, too. It is a huge compliment he pays me — he assumes that my submission to him is so strong that he can let it run its own course and it will always be there for him, I will always be his slave, without need of enforcement, as Gray Lily says, staying “within the bounds, even without reminders and pressure,” being diligent and not taking advantage of the situation. But despite that my Master pays me that great compliment, sometimes it’s hard, to stay within the chalk lines when they are not brick walls. Sometimes, you get comfortable, and if you’re like me, you feel yourself start slipping back to the generally dominant person that you are. That’s what happened with my last lover.

Why doesn’t this happen with my Master? Well, firstly, if I started really slipping I’d run into brick walls pretty durn fast (and it feels comforting, as I write this, to know they are there.) And running into brick walls would hurt. A lot. But what would hurt more, is that if I kept slipping, after some point, I wouldn’t have a Master anymore. He isn’t interested in a slave that doesn’t want to be his. And being his means obeying him and serving him — ergo, if I stop obeying and serving him, I’m not his any longer — pretty basic logic.

And those bits of basic logic are the building blocks of our relationship (besides love and trust and wonderful things like that.) I think that actually, the love and trust are a bit like the cement, really … and, because this analogy is going to happen no matter what I do, I’ll just go along with it: In my previous relationships, there was lots of nice cement — kinda built a stucco house out of it. In this relationship, cements + bricks. When serious weather hits, which house is going to stand up to the elements?

Slavery is what makes my relationship with my Master so great. In other relationships, I didn’t respect my partners. Oh, I would have told you I did, and I would have believed I did. But in the end, I held myself over them. Now, for the first time, I really put someone ahead of myself. And wow — what that does for a relationship! Another Heinlein quote:

‘Love’ is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own…

And the same could be said for those of us trying to live a 24/7 D/s lifestyle despite the pressures and stresses of day-to-day life.

Actually, this post has totally gotten out of hand … can you tell my Master is away…?

I will do another post on that last Heinlein quote and how it relates to my enslavement. And, the masses have spoken: a history of my Master and me is what’s called for! I’ve already started work on it!

Good night, friends.